Four years ago, a resident came into my hospital room to check on my surgical drains. See, I had just had a Distal Pancreatectomy and Splenectomy. A distal pancreatectomy is the removal of the end of the pancreas while leaving the pancreatic head attached, with splenectomy (removing my spleen). As she was talking to me (before ripping out the drains) she said, one day, you will be brilliant. I've been trying ever since - striving to be open - striving to brilliant - striv

Night owl. Insomnia. 8 hours. Ambien. So much dialog today about our sleep. Are you getting enough sleep? Are you getting the right sleep? Why do I always fall asleep on the couch? REM. Deep Sleep. Dream. Sigh. So much to consider about our sleep, and why do I prefer the late night / middle night time? Late night motivation is something I've joked about for years, but as I grow and reflect much more on my overall health and well-being; I am starting to think, maybe m

Today was the quintessential November day. The permeating grey. You know the shade, it's feels like 5:00 the whole day long, the grey that only November can produce. You know the feeling. That cold, damp - gets you right to the bone distinct chill again, only November can produce. I used to despise today. Why the change of heart? How do I find the November grey appealing? I think it is safe to say that November is the quickest month of the year, the easiest to breeze

In early June, tens-of-thousands of lightning bugs gather in swarms and flash in harmony as the entire forest alternates between light and darkness. This the largest population of synchronous fireflies in the Western Hemisphere; located in the Smoky Mountain National Park. Can you imagine how electrifying that would be? So much energy, seeing the lights go on and off. It would be an unforgettable moment. This same harmony was true this past weekend. A group of 450 writer'

It was not until last week that I was faced with how delicate sobriety really is. As I look for images to depict what I am trying to convey with my words, I found myself feeling a bit dramatic. A veil; tissue paper; edge of a cliff; a tight rope; those are all images that came to mind this past week. Sobriety is something you have to want. More than wish, stronger than a want, sobriety is something you desire. But what hit me more than anything this past week - y'all sob

Gatlinburg, TN recently opened the longest suspension bridge in North America. It sways in the wind, rocking side to side and up and down. When you first step foot on the bridge, your steps are uneasy, slow and calculated. Slow and Steady - holding onto the railing. It is almost as if you slide one foot and then the other as if you are skiing, not allowing that foot to come up and lose balance. This feels foreign, unfamiliar, uncomfortable. You stop along the way, take a

Second place is the first loser. Second place is a recurring theme in my life, "second place" has transformed and shaped who I am today. As I've been thinking about this concept for a while now, I've been able to rattle off a pretty substantial list of events in my life, that I was in second place - second choice - runner-up. Think back to the early 90's and high school. Remember the cheerleaders in high school? I am sure you do. Well, we had Poms in high school and they w

** Transparency Post** It is a beautiful summer day. You have on a cute new outfit. You look great! You are up for a promotion at work with many new exciting opportunities. You have a gorgeous home, the homey home you have always wanted. It is almost Friday and you have a free weekend to celebrate your husband’s birthday. All you can think about is talking to as few people as you possibly can and how many minutes before you can leave, throw your cute outfit on the floor,

"Ain't it funny how a melody can bring back a memory" Triggers are happening around us all the time. A trigger in psychology is a stimulus such as a smell, sound, or sight that triggers feelings of trauma. What is it? Typically - it is a reminder of a past trauma, it's a lot like a memory, but without the positive associations. This reminder can cause you to feel fear, sadness, anxiety, or panic. What I want to point out is that triggers can take many forms. They may be

Say what? There is a seven week event that is bringing together my new love of yoga with my old love of grace combining it with healing and writing.... WHAT? Tonight was the first of seven sessions. Each session lasts three hours. The session combines the healing practice of reiki and restorative yoga. Reiki is a therapy often described as palm healing or hands-on-body healing in which a practitioner places hands lightly on or over a patient's body to facilitate the pati

As I write about balance, I realize now more than ever, people are striving for this in their lives. Balance comes in physical forms, emotional forms, and a spiritual form. Being in balance may mean something different to for you. For me, having a balanced life means creating time for the things I have to do, as well as the things I want to do. Do I have a balanced life? I think to think so. Is it a perfect doughnut with even distribution among the different categories, ce

As you may have just read in my previous entry - I lost my beloved Louie over a month ago. I did not anticipate the grief to be as it has been. Let me tell y'all - it's not like it is in the movies. You don't have a good cry, listen to a sad song and move on. It sneaks up on you and sucker punches you. It hurts. It is a sucker punch to the gut and you feel it throughout your entire being. I have to keep pushing through. Those sucker punches have also made it more diffic

It's been over two months since my last post. I miss this. My writing is always on my mind, but I've had a very difficult time bringing myself to get behind the keyboard again. My loyal companion and very best friend of 17 years was diagnosed with an aggressive form of cancer and passed away. This all happened in the quick time-frame between April 2nd and May 18th. Louie was my beloved dog for 17 amazing years. As I sit here, I am not quite ready to write this post. In

It was about a month after I had been officially discharged from the hospital. I was home alone and I was scared. Not the "I'm uncomfortable" scared, the "I am going to die" scared = terrified. You would think, after months in the hospital, weeks in the ICU, home would be a breeze. It was not. It had been suggested to me, on more than one occasion "you should try yoga" "yoga will help with your recovery" "yoga will be good for your anxiety" "yoga will help with mindfulness"

Forgive (verb) stop feeling angry or resentful toward (someone) for an offense, flaw, or mistake. Forgiveness (noun) the action or process of forgiving or being forgiven. Seems pretty cut and dry, right? We all understand the concept, the idea - I mean, it's never wrong to do the right thing, right? Y'all this concept is not black and white - nothing crystal clear here! I would like a little process map, much like the path through CandyLand, that walks you through the pat

I'm going to warn you - this is really hard to stop when you start. I should go to bed earlier. I should get up earlier. I should exercise. I should walk the puppy. I should eat more greens. I should stop eating ice cream. I should stop drinking Diet Coke. I should contribute more to my retirement. I should plan more for my retirement. That was less than 30 seconds of me - shoulding all over myself. Now imagine how much that can add up to throughout a day, a week, a lifet

Lately I've been researching a bit about courage. I was pretty stoked to pour into courage and KPT. Then I checked my blood sugar (330, 303, 319, so it's not my meter). Shifting... now I want to talk about facing diabetes with courage. 💪🏼 I am not going to take us all the way back to Junior High Health class, but I will give you a fair warning - nerdy research lies ahead. Basically, diabetes is a disease in which the body’s (pancreas) ability to produce or respond to

I am plagued with a question tonight. Do I really own my story? I am in my second semester of Bible Study at church. The class is named Essentials and it is exactly that - a thing that is absolutely necessary. Air. Water. It is like Faith - Church - Spirituality 101. It. Is. Perfect. It is exactly what I need. The perfect mix of research, reading, lecture and discussion. Along with a random mix of ladies that were not accidentally placed together. There is a fascinatin

Everyone remembers Friends "The One with The Secret Closet". Monica has the most amazingly jam packed closet hidden away in her always pristine apartment. Chandler was never to know the closet even existed. Don't we all have that one closet, cupboard, at least a junk drawer in our life? The book, and now hit series on Netflix - "The Life-Changing Method of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing" by Marie Kondo was released back in early January, bravo

This is probably not blog worthy, or acceptable protocol for blogging....but since you gotta start somewhere, everything goes! Lately I have had a million and one topics running through my heart, areas I want to explore, research and write. I keep this journal with me at all times, and it is to that stage in a journal's life, when it's ripe, it's ready! It's my everything journal, and it's perfect. Disclaimer - A quick side bar, for those of you who do not know that stages