If you also have this love and hate relation with sleep, you might want to have a closer look. Have a closer look at your emotions, fears, anxieties. If you didn't have them, would you sleep better? Your answer is most probably yes, right? So instead of taking pills or worrying more by thinking why you cant sleep, go to the core of the problem. Instead of attempting tricks like listening to podcasts until you faint into sleep, spend one night awake looking at the main cause!