Journey to Motherhood: A Note to New Mother
Updated: Sep 25
Is there any way you can prepare yourself for the journey ahead? My honest answer is no. I started preparing myself when I get to know that we are going to be parents!
I had seen babies playing and making giggling sound outdoor, in the park. I always thought babies are always happy and smiling! I was so wrong, the reality happens to be strikingly opposite. It’s not easy to please them. Moving a mountain is easier.
Everyone’s journey is different so is a baby. Four years back I was happy and scared. What if I fail as a mother? I wanted to give her the best of everything. This expectation made me further vulnerable to make a mistake. I cried and I shouted at my daughter. It made her cry longer and took hours to calm her down.
What I missed most was my time. I longed a peaceful ten minutes nap and weekend sleep. She was following me everywhere like a shadow. Taking a shower in peace was luxury without that little shadow banging door.
My love and respect for my mother grew a hundred times. How they did it? Whenever I saw a happy baby I started blaming myself. There has to be something wrong with me or in my parenting choices. I wondered if they had a magic wand to make their babies happy and look adorable and well-dressed.
This struggle of being a perfectionist continued for almost six months. Finally, I gave up. I failed as a mother as I didn't know how to comfort my crying baby and couldn't understand her needs.
When I stopped expecting everything to be perfect, I was more happy and content. So was my daughter. She wasn't that difficult anymore. I spent more time with her playing, reading books. I realized I had to be at peace and happy to make her happy. I started enjoying my motherhood.
Once, you let go of every fear and anxiety, you will see how beautiful this feeling of taking care of that tiny human.
Trust your instinct and you will never go wrong with your baby’s need. This is a phase and will pass, hang in there. Create beautiful memories and click pictures, you will cherish those forever. This house belongs to that tiny human too. Let them create a mark and make a memory!
No one is perfect so don't be hard on yourself. My daughter has very strong likes and dislikes. I understood that little one has her personality and I have to accept the way she is.
The best thing you can do to yourself is to engage in something that makes you happy. I started gardening again and made me calmer. The other benefit of gardening was it gave my daughter immense joy to play in the soil. I learned how to handcraft quilts and blankets. It slowly and slowly grew on me. It calmed my creative side and made me enjoy the melodies of thread and needles.
When she took a nap, I started watching movies, few series on Netflix and Hotstar, not to forget Game of Thrones with hot coffee. When she woke up, we both enjoyed cold ice-cream and popcorn together. We made a habit of story reading before going to bed and it was so much fun together. We happened to be happily tired by the end of the day. We enthusiastically waited for each day to unfold. We still do a few silly activities together and laugh our hearts out.
Don’t give up if you have come so far you will get through it alive and sane! Take time to explore your creative side. And brace yourself for the unpredictable side. Let me know your story I would love to read it. If you love reading, Pin it.