Mama's Mad-a-Mia Pizza Recipe
I'm posting this after Mother's Day as I know there are many mama's out there who are precious about their saintly children on this National Holiday. We mothers like to place our children on a pedestal during Mother's Day, quoting clichés such as "the most precious jewels I'll ever have around my neck are my child's arms". Yes, true. But, also, I might love my kid every minute of the day, but does that mean I like him for that equivalent amount of time?
At the moment I'm writing this, my son just came to give me a hug to then FART on me.
See what I'm sayin'?
Motherhood might be the coolest, most rewarding 'hood in the neighborhood, but it is not without its battles. Undoubtedly, there will be days when you get a legitimate thought to sell your kid to the monkeys in the zoo. It will most likely come at a time when the child is hangry.
adjective bad-tempered or irritable as a result of hunger.
When this happens, take my recipe for homemade pizza and witness the magic of cheese and carbs. Sure, you could grab Little Caesar's or some fancy pizza, but WHO DOESN'T WANT TO SMASH OUT PIZZA DOUGH? It's therapeutic.
I call this "Mama's Mad-a-Mia Pizza", because, honestly, when you read the recipe you will understand why.
1 Can of Pillsbury Pizza Dough
(I have also made my own pizza dough from scratch, but either way you will still have to bang and knead that dough, so keep it AEAP [as easy as possible])
2 cups of Mama's Homemade Pizza Sauce **
a block of cheddar, mozz, and parm cheese (I mean this)
Microwavable bag of broccoli
Pre-cooked chicken (I know you got leftovers, people)
1. Pre-Heat the oven to 425 degrees Fahrenheit.
2. Start the happiness by pounding and banging out that dough to go on your pizza pan. While you're doing this, throw in that microwavable broccoli to cook.
3. Next, slather on that homemade sauce.
4. The MAIN EVENT: you still mad, bro? GRATE that cheese. That's why I said block it up, because you want to scratch the cheese right off that block onto the dough of that pizza, furiously. I <3 cheese and will put 3 different kinds on my pizza, because I AM extra. There is no satisfaction in sprinkling. None at all.
5. Add the toppings. This can be whatever you want. I don't know your life. For me, I love chicken, and my kid needs to eat broccoli so he doesn't scream at me from the bathroom about his painful poops. So, chicken and broccoli.
*The oven roasts the veggies, so it is crunchy and does not make it soggy.
6. Pop that baby in the oven and wait about 30-45 min.
7. While you're waiting, pour yourself a glass of wine, Mama! You deserve it!
8. The pizza will be done based on your oven and crust preferences, but I like mine crunchy and my oven is fairly fast, so that is about 40 minutes.
Your children will be happy you made pizza and you will be happy that you put in minimal effort. Go ahead, boast on Insta that you made HOMEmade pizza for dinner tonight. Aren't you fancy?
Gluten Free Note: If you are gluten intolerant, Amazon has several options to choose from. No doubt your local grocery store more than likely offers pre-made GF pizza dough, as well. Pick some up!!! No excuses!
Mama's Homemade Pizza Sauce
THIS is what will make you smile. THIS will keep you from selling the children. I made this one night when I was frustrated (ha, surprise surprise) and wanted pizza, but there was no sauce in the house. BUT I had the following ingredients, improvised, and voila. Started at the bottom, now we're here.
Big, red juicy tomato (two, if you're lucky)
Yellow, red, and/or orange bell peppers (this is the key ingredient-- I use all three-- NO green)
A little chopped onion, maybe 1/4 cup
3 cloves of chopped garlic
Salt 'n Peppa
A TINY bit of sugar (if you do not like acidic sauce like me.)
1. Throw all the ingredients in the blender. Just toss it in.
2. Hit pulse until it looks like a sauce. Really punch it for dramatic effect.
3. Taste to your liking. If it is not your kind of sauce (ha), then doctor as you see fit.
What I Like About It: I do not like acidic pizza sauce. It bothers my stomach and gives me canker sores, so when I developed this recipe I realized it was sweet. The reason for this sweetness is in the bell peppers. They are naturally sweet with a little bite to it, so it is not overwhelming and tones down the acidity from the tomato.
You're doing great. The day will be over soon. In the mean time, eat all the cheese.
Hope you enjoyed the show,