Why you need a man on your level!

Updated: May 7, 2018


Ice Cube DID NOT come thru today!


Most def was NOT a good day!


What’s going on y’all?

So today was a shitty day. Well, not all day. Started out hella productive. Did some spring cleaning. You know what they say about idle hands…didn’t even realize I was keeping them busy by doing all I did today but in retrospect I see why I couldn’t stay still all day. But I digress, so started out pretty smooth. Cleaned all day while my daughter had a friend from school over. Then around 8pm we head out to go by my sis (3 yrs. younger) house to have cake for my nephew’s b-day. Pull up, all lights are out, so I call her and she’s at the grocery store, ok cool, I wait. Then baby sis pulls up and I see her get out then come back to her car and start it up. So, I jump out like where you going? She tells me the sis I was waiting on said she was coming from the south side and to meet her by baby sis house. Ok, cool, I go jump in my car, slide the key in that mf and I’ll be DAMNED if it didn’t start!


Now, before I go any further let me break this situation down real quick. Today is Sunday, a week ago Friday (so not the Friday that just passed but the week prior) my car battery went dead so I didn’t drive for a week my bf was taking me to and from right. The Friday that just passed, I went to get a new battery, put it in started it up and boom we was back in business! Right?! Wrong!! Didn’t go no where Saturday and today this happened. So, it’s a brand-new battery that’s acting as dead as the one that needed replacement. Pissed me clean TF off, you hear me?! So, we try and jump it, no turn over. Call my bf like come get me. He pulls up and try to jump it, no turn over. Steam coming out my ears at this point, face bout red as a bitch. It’s like fuck it at this point, deal with it tomorrow hop in his truck and head home.


Get back to the house and I’m just overwhelmed. I keep it pushed down long enough to get my baby to her room and in the bed (no-I didn’t carry her lol, just mean I made sure she got in her room and pj’s on), told her good night, gave kisses, you know – keep ‘em as young and innocent as you can for as long as you can type ish then I retreat back to my room to release these feelings. Meanwhile, he kept tryna ask me am I ok and just kept talking to me to try and make sure I “calm down” and relax with a lot of it’s gone be ok’s. Now, don’t get me wrong, I appreciated the gesture for sure, but I mean come on! If I said just leave me alone for a min just give me some space boo, I’m a grown ass woman, I think I can articulate what I need.



It’s deeper than that, deeper than this car dying AGAIN. That’s gone get handled I ain’t worried about that. I’m looking at the fact that no matter how righteously I live my life I’m met with SO much opposition and it get to a point where that shit starts to boil over. Everybody needs SOMEBODY to reach out to from time to time. We may not have the best selection in people to receive advice from but we all have someone to go to and just vent right? No one realizes that the people you run to for advice, those really good listeners and the strong-willed people you know will have a solution have NO ONE to listen to them! I mean really think about it, the people that always “get you through it” rarely come to you for the same type of healing. Make no mistakes, being able to get shit off your chest is most definitely a contributor towards the healing process. We’re supposed to be able to reach out to our spouses if we’re listening to popular belief but if you’re tryna listen to the Most High within your soul for answers, it’s gone get serious. Be prepared for tears and fears to come rushing to the surface like a 100ft tidal wave! It may certainly be your spouse, but 8x out of 10 it won’t be. Sorry. But the truth is most of us marry because society says we’re supposed to. With that, we base this LIFE ALTERING decision on what others may think/say following the common widespread timelines causing us to settle for POTENTIAL in order to fit the mold. Sad really. But that’s all we knew, until it wasn’t. FOIA (Freedom of Information Act) was one of the best things to hit these streets since scientists proving white’s inferior to African descent beings LbVs. A lot of the things we’ve been taught are “myths” or “fictional” have been documented via the government as REAL! Y’all better get with it and wake up! This the Age of Information! Get them facts sis.


Back to the story though, I go to my room, lean up against the door and allow the emotions to be free. Next thing I know he come and try to open the door. By this point, I’m annoyed as shit that my he keeps “tryna help me” after I asked him more than once to just let me be alone for a while.


Mmmmmmmmmmmm that’s when I say fuck it, you want to help me huh? Can I vent to you? He like yeah! All excited like he just won the fucking Bingo pot or some ish! Lol. He like yeah baby I wanna help you how you do me. (Side note, my bf at the time was a ‘Mother Theresa’ project. Good guy, just hadn’t lived enough for himself to know what type of man HE wanted to be and then reach for it, i.e. the past tense) HE was someone who needed a lot of validation and assumed everyone else needed the same.

Don’t open the front door for me and expect me to knock before I come in!

Fuck it, I start venting. Went in on how hard it is to live a righteous life when the world makes it so easy to “get it how you live”. Like it’s hella easy, and in 2018, hella lucrative to be an ass/Instagram “model”, to be a baller’s girlfriend, to be a high-priced escort, to strip, to play these Negahs for the $. Scamming, boosting, tax fraud, honey trappin’ the flashy types, you know, whatever to get it fast. Went into how I been there though and that’s why I made the CHOICE to move forward on the righteous path he found me on. How it left feeling empty after “getting it how I lived”, might have had some bands but I walked away feeling dirty on the inside, in my soul! {Mind you, I’m saying this out loud to him as I vent} Then went into how much tie I’ve wasted waiting on a man to come along and ‘help me build a kingdom’ but at the end of the day the dudes I’m attracting aren’t on that level yet. How can they be when I’m not be thinking I need a man to help me build towards my goals, that’s that Law of Attraction, we get what we put into the universe! Period!


Not only did I feel the discomfort coming off him {like sweat dripping from his forehead down his nose onto my chest while in those compromising positions} but I felt the shift in energy as I watched his facial expressions speak what his mouth couldn’t. He let me finish though, that, lol, he most definitely did do. I scrapped off some more of the superficial layer of my build up speaking on how I’m weighed down by so many people’s pain and rejections and disappointments that when I get my own I want to hit something or cry or blow up on somebody because I have no one to vent to after everyone vents to me. In my mind I should’ve been able to vent to vent to my man – but I didn’t have a man in my presence. No diss to him, but he wasn’t a man yet, just a numerically grown boy. Still has a lot of growing to do before becoming a man. The fact that I can’t vent to him without him getting stuck on shit like I used to have hoe tendencies is a testimony within itself. His discomfort came from him being stuck on the fact that I said it would be so much easier to get it off them than it is to live within a righteous lifestyle simply because society makes it so easy for promiscuous women to get paid on a scale higher than most average hard-working people. I’ve seen strippers turned entrepreneur getting paid from the notoriety of stripping and basically prostitution when it comes to the glorification of getting money via “finessing” Negahs after sex! (Right?!) No hate/shade etc. just #Facts. Ijs. Let’s call a spade a spade!


But my point is this; no matter how much POTENTIAL one has, unless they’re to the point you need them to be (to the point of actually living in that potential we see in them) you don’t have a man, you have a man in training. By having a man in training, you don’t have a man on your level. You have someone who needs help/guidance getting to your level. When you’re in the process of building an empire, hell even on a smaller scale building a business, you need someone who’s already on the same level. If you have to keep stopping to help someone else catch up, you WILL lose focus on the goals at hand. Not due to it being the other persons fault its just basic relativity. If you focus your energy on something that’s not conducive to the end goal, you’re sending out mix matched signals to the universe on what you want, what you’re working towards. Energy doesn’t understand semantics/details. It transfers and attracts based on what you put out, the VIBES you’re traveling on.


We, as Black women, HAVE TO STOP CATERING TO EVERYONE BUT OURSELVES! The world has left us to fend for ourselves for well over 400 years, including our male counterparts. So why do we continue to SETTLE for less than what we need to grow? I mean the question itself could present the answers if you understand why this is even a factor. As Black women we’re taught to accept what’s been given because we’re lucky to have even received that. From the amazingly HUGE WAGE GAP between Black women and the world, to the way Black women are physically/mentally abused by the public servants we’re forced to pay from our income taxes with no consequences or repercussions.


This sistahs, is the beginning stages of recognizing the fact that segregation may not have been such a bad idea after all. The thought of a Black Wall Street type of community separate from the societies MANY ill wills against the Black woman may be the next step. Idk. It’s just a theory of mine. We get together a group of people who are on the same wave link (Black men and women ONLY no exceptions!) and start our own community. Like the sistah who expatriated to Costa Rica after taking a vacation and seeing the peace granted from the segregated communities there, one in which she now resides (within a community of native Blacks) and offers retreat packages catered to ONLY BLACK WOMEN. It’s time for us to truly consider expatriating america and repatriating to Africa (if those are your roots, a simple DNA test will let you know whether or not you’re a descendant of the CONTINENT and the countries your DNA stems from).


When amerikkka gave us lemons, we made lemonade! Let's get back to us!When amerikkka gave us lemons, we made lemonade! Let's get back to us!
The proof of what we can do when STOP listening to other people!


All I know is I’m looking into it, and per my opinion so should you! Especially if you’re anything like me and tired of having to dial down your culture for the timid nature of the others in this country then this venture may be for you. More info to come!


Until next time Sis.


Peace Sis. Ase.!

The Urban Consultant

Presented by…The Black Plain Jane