• Dante

Remnants of Filth Chapter 3: Sexy Gu Mang, Stripping

Shortly after Mo Xi received the letter from the Emperor, the news that Gu Mang was about to return to the city was being publicized by the king’s agents. At the same time, a way of disposing of Gu Mang appeared -


Hand him over to Wangxhu Jun’s authority.


  The news quickly spread throughout the country, and though Mo Xi’s army was far from the north, they discovered the news in three days.


The Northern Border Army bubbled over with chatter[1].


  They appeared as solemn and professional as before, but when their shift came, almost everyone was chatting about it. Mo Xi was nowhere to be seen, and it was one of the rare chances they had to let loose.


He predicted that they would be uneasy, and then they would be back to normal again - because the previous leader of the Northern Border army was the invincible Gu Jiajun. A large number of soldiers in the military were prepared to risk life and limb for him. They were undoubtedly loyal, but long ago, they had also supported their commander Gu Mang - even though Gu Jun’s proposed military identification that he had proposed for them had been "Bastard Army[2]."


  This was completely real. Before Mo Xi, the military’s military record looked like this:

  Bastard Army soldier, Liu Dazhuang,

  Bastard Army soldier, Chief Zhang Dayan

  ...

  And so on.


  Head of the Bastard army, general Gu Mang.


  It would have been reasonable to assume that an army so vulgar in name should have little interested applicants. But that was not the case. Gu Mang was the most prominent general in the Chinese military. At the time, most of the other generals had restrictive demands and put on airs.


  But Gu Mang was different. He born a slave, had no father and no mother, no cares, no lofty reputation or skin, and he wasn’t afraid of death.


  If Chonghua’s generals were undressed and lined up into a row, Gu Mang may not have been the man with the strongest body, but he would certainly be the most scarred.


  During his time under the empire, he had completely earned his title of "The Savage Beast of the Heavenly Altar[3]".


  At that time, Gu Mang’s deputy always looked at his wounds and scolded him: “Why are you running ahead of the others, head general? Don’t you know you should hide a little?”


  Gu Mang would laugh, his black eyes bright and playful, his mouth would soften, his voice would gain that soft, velvet quality to it, and he would good naturedly tease his angry friend: "The long legs forced me to run fast, I had no choice, no choice. "


  As long as the battlefield needed him, the battlefield’s usual ice and bloodshed would suddenly clear, and fill with the sound of laughter like nectar.


    He remembered a day he and his soldiers were congregated. When Gu Mang left the battle, he often led the members of the battalion’s religious order to villages and towns to drink and drink. Sometimes, when they met the resident villagers, they would ask for sky high prices, but General Gu was never angered. Laughing and taking out all the money he had in his silk case, he would order the wine and meat for his soldiers.


  In the end, he shouted loudly: "Eat and drink as you like! Everyone, eat as much as your stomach can hold! Everyone is my precious baby, if the army wages aren’t enough, I’ll step in and pay for you!"


  Gu Mang said, One time, he took off his armor and dropped it onto the wine counter and exchanged them for pears. The soldiers said with a smile: "General Gu, we still want beef, do you have anything else to take off?"


  He had, at the time, only one snow white inner robe, but he smiled and pointed at them: "Give me a second."


  "No! General Gu, you won't really sell the pants too!?"


  "That can't be worth much money..."


 Gu Mang didn't plan to strip down, but he really had nothing else on him, and he was under he amused and shocked eyes of onlookers, so he smirked at the laughing wine selling widow, and kissed her.


  The soldiers were silent, the widow was stunned silent, and wine dribbled down from the ladle. After a while, she suddenly remembered to react, beginning to wave the wine ladle and smacked Gu Mang -


  "Shameless! Kissing this old woman! "


  Laughter began.


  Gu Mang was chased by the widow as laughter continued, and ran while begging for mercy: "It was sincere! It was sincere! You’re beautiful! You’re beautiful!"


  "The old lady knows she’s beautiful! You’re handsome too, youngster. But you’re much too shameless, and you won’t even actually be sneaking in at night to meet me. You must be the shamer of so many people! Pervert!”


  The pervert in question was doing his best to cause a ruckus,and without a hint of face or shame, shouted: "Yes, I will come to you tomorrow night, I’ll stay tonight too if you’ll have me, as long as you can spare us two pounds of beef. I’m begging you here, beautiful.”


   "Hey! Since camping here, you have asked this old lady to sell you beef on credit three times. This is the fourth time! Every time you say that you’ll pay me later, you little deceiver!"


  The widow groaned in frustration, and thumped her small fists against the wooden board until the wooden board cracked slightly.


  The soldiers’ at this point were laughing so hard they were rolling on the floor. However, it is said that Gu Mang finally used his good looking leather pouch and a promise of "see you tomorrow” to get two pounds of beef from the widow.


  "General Gu, you really know how to fool someone..."


  "That’s what’s necessary." Gu Mang said smugly, swaying and swaying, "I have passed by thousands of flowers, and heaven knows I stopped to smell them[4]."


  With a head general like this, no wonder there is The young boy released his words: "Forget calling us the Bastard Army, even if they called us the Dick Army, I’d still follow General Gu!"


  The soldier next to him said: "Oh, you’ve read the holy books all wrong if you’re saying that."


  "Then how do you recommend becoming distinguished?"


  "You name this army Dick Army, you might as well call it Ji Ba Army[5], it’d have the same effect."


  Impressed, he exclaimed: "Good name, I like it."


  "... ...you wouldn’t, I was just making a casual suggestion. Who would like the name 'Ji Ba Army', isn’t that much too shameful of a name? If you don’t believe me, try calling a dog that, even they would develop a problem with you."


  The young man smiled: "The world's filled with great wonders, just because we don’t have it now doesn’t mean we won’t have it later, our army’s already named “Bastard Army”, we might as well call ourselves Penis Army."


  Thankfully, Gu Mang didn’t hear the two of them, or who knows if he would have changed his name to "Penis Army Lead General Gu Mang", and forced all his soldiers to suffer together with him.


  The war was too harsh, only Gu Mang, the madman, would be the type to make jokes out of it. Not only did he draft out the ”Bastard Army", but he even painted the flag. The blue flag was ingeniously cut into a tortoise, and a small tail was carefully left of the fabric. He cast a spell on the flag with incense and prayer: "Bastard, bastard, majestic and heroic, full of noble aspiration and daring, may formidable renown give you authority over the whole country!!"


  They had all been thoroughly embarrassed.


  When he first raised this flag over his army, enemy generals had laughed. They hadn’t laughed long. The army of the other 100,000 had been chased off by Gu Mang’s Bastard Army. After this battle, Gu Mang had fought across battles large and small, and he’d won every time.


  This directly brought about the years when he was leader. When the countries that opposed Chonghua heard turtles they got a lot less cocky, and they quickly became a dreaded sight for the opposition--a turtle’s flags raised over the smoky battlefield. Gu Mang would come out upon his horse casually, clearing the scorpion, and introduce himself in a deadpan voice:


  "Ahem, hello brethren. Bastard Army commander Gu Mang, here to teach you fellows some new tricks."


  As shameful as it was to be beaten, it was even more shameful when it was time to go back and report: “Hey, our soldiers were really incompetent, and they were powerless in that fight with the Bastard Army!”


It was a nightmare.


  For the Chonghua generals, Gu Mang had been a troublemaker. At that time, though, there were many people who admired him. Some people even regarded General Gu’s set of “lowly name, but good to raise” ideas as a standard. Many of the children born at that time were unfortunately named with this philosophy in mind, and the trend was like this. :

  Chu Genzhuang.

  Xue Tiezhu.

  Jiang Dantong[6].


 Therefore, when Mo Xi was handed the reins, the first thing he did was to rename the Bastard Army.


  He would never allow his military record to have "the leader of the Bastard Army"on it. Never ever!


  Therefore, Wang Bajun was renamed the Northern Border Army, and the was original joke was erased by Mo Xi. The black humor of the original was, like Gu Mang, written off with this disappointing conclusion.


  And those shouting and screaming "Bastard, Bastard, majestic and heroic" are like a idiots viewed through rose tinted glasses[7], and they would never appear on the battlefield again.


  Everything had become very serious, there will be no cheerful voice, there would be no one who’d attempt to remember even the most insignificant name, no one will lead the soldiers to fight in a riot, and no one would trade their clothes for supplies again.


  The war restored absolute bitter cold and harshness.


  A bitter winter was coming.


  Probably for this reason, although most people in the Northern Border Army hated Gu Mang now, when they mentioned Gu Mang, their feelings were not the same as the ordinary people.


  Especially those "Bastard Army" veterans who’d went into war with General Gu, when they read the name of Gu Mang, they would tear up a little bit in their eyes.


  "Oh, who would have thought he’d end up with this sort of fate..."


  "Wang Shujun is famous for his ruthlessness. Junshi gave Gu Mang to him for disposal. I am afraid all the signs are pointing to disaster."


  "It’ll definitely be a death without even an entire corpse to bury..."


  This formidable figure was not necessarily someone who aroused dislike, but traitors were someone everyone agreed deserved death. Only when the old Eighth Army veterans got together, they would talk endlessly of things that had nothing to do with "hate."


  At the end of the day, some of veterans deliberately turned a blind eye: "Hey, what a man... If so and so hadn't happened that year, he wouldn't have--"


  ”Hey! Quiet down a little!" If you actually have the audacity to mention this old thing, you must not have any sense of self preservation!"


  The veteran, with an "Uh Oh", recovered his wits, realizing he had almost said something incriminating, and with damp eyes, he ran off drunkenly. The realization that he’d almost touched a taboo subject had him shivering.


  The soldier next to him was still reminding him: "Now we’re working under General Mo’s command. General Mo’s most hated enemy is Gu Mang. You don't know his temper. F he actually heard. You and I are done for tonight.


  ”Hey, hey, you’re right! Look at me, the minute I start drinking I get all confused.."

  The soldiers stared quietly at the flames, their minds occupied. After a long time, someone let out a sigh and said: "Although, people really do change. I suppose that, you can only say that was what General Gu’s life came to.."


  "How many years have you been, how are you still calling him General Gu? His name is Gu Mang."


  "Oh, yes, Gu Mang, Gu Mang."


  The frontier’s nights were silent, and the bonfire crackled, with sparks more sarkling gold than the starlight bursting out of it.


  The tipsy veteran lay down on the ground, his arms resting under his head, and he looked at the sky, dotted as far as the eye could see. Purple stars shone, his throat tightened a bit, and so quietly that only he could hear, he said: "Oh, if I can be honest for a moment, when I first enlisted, it was only for Gu Mang. I once drank with him around the campfire. He didn’t have any airs. At that time !... I looked at him and laughed, I thought, if one day I die on the battlefield, It would have all been alright. Who would have thought he’d actually..."


  Thought he’d actually come to this sort of fate.


  The bird had finished flying, the decorated bows were hidden now.


  After they’d finished using Gu Mang, the enemy had sent him back to the country of China as one of the reconciliation gifts. This person had finally had what came around go around, been around the world, he’d advanced from chess strategies to internal treachery, he had fallen with no regrets, he had fallen with no way back.


  So why was he now said to be trapped in a device of his own creation? Everyone knew persisting in evil brings about self-destruction.


When you think about it, his life is really unfortunate. Falling in to this terrible situation, if it was something he brought on his himself, it could have offer others some schadenfreude.


Everyone in Chonghua were waiting for Gu Mang’s demise with their heads raised expectantly.


Beheading, a thousand cuts, being boiled alive, a painful slicing death, being pulled to pieces by five horses, even a little girl, who had just started to speak, said uncertainly to the adults: “I don’t want to end up near that shameless pig head[9].”


  So, Gu Mang General Gu, the hero of the Chonghua Kingdom, Mo Xi’s sworn nemesis. This legendary man once known as "Mythical Beast".


  Finally, he had lived up to their expectations, and become a "shameless pig head."


Translation Notes:

[1] “炸开了锅”, aka pot which has hd it’s lid blown off.

[2] My mainland friend suggested “pimp gang” or “cuck army” but I think bastard army is more on brand.

[3] 猛兽 Ferocious beast is the latest part of this translation.

[4] Not exactly the translation, but he’s talking about how he enjoys pretty girls.

[5] 戟罢 A pun on the Chinese slang for penis, ji ba. Literal meaning spear stopper.

[6] Thick wooden roots, iron pillar, and ginger egg pain respectively. Basically, giving their kids dumb names and hoping they turn out like the Bastard Army.

[7]镜花水月literal meaning: flowers in a mirror and the moon reflected in the lake (idiom); figuratively this means an unrealistic rosy view; viewing things through rose tinted glasses

[8]紫薇 Crape mrytle, a flowering purple garden bush. I assumed he meant purple?...

[9] 不要念的居头 Censored version of the swearing, with similar sounding words. Probably to avoid JJWXC hammer, a pain in the ass to decipher.


Dante’s Notes:

My translations pace is going at about a page and a half every three hours. Guess I’m gonna have to start typing faster, huh? _(:’3」∠)_

As I type this out, a couple translators have agreed to help with Yu Wu, thanks guys!

Extra Corruption is currently ongoing, but Meat Bun updates very regularly. And, to those who’ve read 2ha, Meat Bun has confirmed Extra Corruption takes place a long time before 2ha in the author’s notes! Though Mo Ran and Mo Xi canonically have no blood relation, you may spot some 2ha easter eggs in this novel ;).


Chapter translated by Dante.


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